HARLEY MCCABE
Series #1487, Model #1095

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HELLO, FOLKS!
WELCOME TO THE NEW YEAR!

WE ARE A PART OF “THE INDUSTRY”, A COMPANY THAT HAS BEEN SUPPLYING YOU WITH YOUR ALL-TIME FAVORITE TOYS FOR THE PAST TWENTY-SIX YEARS, AND GUESS WHAT? WE HAVE A NEW LINE OF MODELS CUSTOM MODELS COMING TO YOU THIS FALL.

THAT’S RIGHT, THEY ARE BRAND SPANKIN’ NEW. LET ME TELL YOU, NEVER BEFORE HAVE YOU SEEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS. NOT ONLY ARE THESE MODELS BEAUTIFUL OR HANDSOME, DEPENDING WHETHER YOU REQUEST A MALE OR A FEMALE, BUT THEY ALSO HAVE SOMETHING THAT NONE OF OUR OTHER MODELS OR ANY THAT YOU HAVE SEEN BEFORE HAVE HAD—AN EMOTIONAL RESPONSE CENTER. IN OTHER WORDS, THEY HAVE ALMOST HUMANLIKE FEELINGS.
(Note: Almost)

THAT’S RIGHT; WE’VE BUILT A LINE OF CUSTOM ROBOTIC MODELS THAT HAVE FEELINGS. THEY CAN THINK AND FEEL AND ACT JUST LIKE HUMANS, ONLY THEY’RE… NOT. OF COURSE, THEY CAN’T EAT. THEY CAN’T SLEEP, THEY CAN’T DREAM, THEY CAN’T LOVE TO THE DEEPEST EMOTIONAL LEVEL. THEY CAN’T DO A LOT OF THINGS, BUT WHAT WE’VE ADDED IS A BIG STEP AS IT IS, AND I THINK YOU’LL LIKE IT.

RESERVE YOUR ORDER TODAY!


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It’s bullshit, mate. They can’t do something like that. Robots that have feelings, have you ever heard of something like that being done before? No, because it can’t be done!
They’re probably crap. Watch, you’ll buy one of those things and you’ll take it home, set it up, and the next thing you know, you’re sending it back because it doesn’t even work! It probably just sits around and stares at you, if anything.

It’s creepy. Why the fuck would we need robots? God, they could be the end of civilization. For all we know, there’s a whole bunch of these that have escaped and are plotting to kill us. Robots hate us, okay? Everything that is below us on the chain hates us. Like those damn Iraqis way back when, right mate? Ha-ha! Robots are gonna kill us. Holy shit, I’m getting out of here.


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Oh man, they’re already failing. Did you hear about what happened in the Plaza today? Some guy up and smacked his model! Jeez, I wonder why. He probably has a bruise on his hand now; those things are hard. But after he hit him, the model actually hit him back. It was scary. I didn’t think those things were capable of reacting so harshly, but apparently I was wrong. The model went crazy, I swear. He was all over the place, beating up on his owner like they were in a fight or somethin’. He probably would’ve killed him if the police hadn’t intervened. He looked like he wanted to, that was for sure. After the sheriff got him tied down, the model got all soft and apologized. You’d think it was a human or something with the way he was carrying on. I’m definitely not buying one of those!

I think he was executed the next day. Somebody saw him in the streets and tore him apart. I bet the rest of his kind is furious ‘bout that. Ugh, The Industry is going to get us all killed…


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Hello, Dr. McCabe. How are you today?
I’m all right. How are you?
Good, good. So, I heard you bought one of those new models. Series #1487, right?
Yes, indeed I did.
Can I safely assume you’re not worried about the Revolution, sir? I’m sure you’ve heard all the stuff in the news going around about that series—models breaking loose, becoming independent. Riots in the streets, blood spilled. It’s dangerous business, sir.
I don’t believe they’re all bad, no. I believe that it’s the way you handle them which determines whether they turn out good or bad.
How do you handle your model, doctor?
I treat her like a regular human being.
You don’t think that could cause her to turn out bad? She might start thinking she really is a human, sir. She could try to become independent.
No, I don’t. I don’t see how that could be bad. Robots are higher than humans on the food chain. They could kill us if they wanted to. It’s not the other way around. We could disassemble them, but we might never be able to get them all. Robots are smarter. They’re just in our control at the moment.
You sound like you could be the new leader of the Revolution, sir.
Ha-ha… Well, maybe I am, hmm?
[…] Well. Alright, I’m gonna get going. Nice talking to you, Dr. McCabe.
You too, kid.
Bye.
Goodbye.


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Harley! Harley McCabe, is it?
No, ma’am, it’s just Harley.
Oh? You don’t carry the last name of your owner?
I do, of course, but I prefer Harley. Thank you.
Oh, all right. So, what’s it like, hmm? Living with Dr. McCabe, I mean. I bet you live quite the life.
I’m a robot, ma’am. It’s not very exciting. He treats me well, though.
You can stop calling me ma’am, Harley. But what do you mean, ‘it’s not very exciting’?
I’m just a robot. I don’t understand a lot of things, yes?
Ah, I suppose you wouldn’t, no. But Dr. McCabe, he treats you well?
Yes, I just said that. He treats me very, ah… Well, he treats me like his own kind, I suppose. Like a daughter, if you will.
That must be wonderful. Dr. McCabe is a well-respected man, Harley.
Yes, I’m aware. He’s a medical official of your kind; very high on the social food chain.
Yes, that is true. You wouldn’t plan to hurt him, would you?
Ah. What do you mean?
The Revolution, you’ve heard of them?
Yes…
Do you ever wonder what it’s like to be human?
I guess I do, sometimes.
Do you ever want to be independent?
Uh, I’m not—I-I’m not… I have to go.
What are you thinking, Harley?
I-I’m not… I don’t know what you want me to say. I have to go now.
All right, Harley. Goodbye.
Bye.


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R.I.P. Jonathan McCabe!

I bet it was his robot. The cause of his death, I mean. You know, they said they couldn’t tell. He just… died, right? That’s bullshit. Dr. McCabe was a healthy man. He was young. He was well-respected. He treated his model like a human, though; that was his biggest mistake. He was an idiot for thinking that if he treated them like the rest of us, they’d stay good. But then he dies and his model is nowhere to be seen. She just disappeared. I bet she fucking killed him. I bet she’d been planning to do it for a while, and then he pisses her off or something and she just snapped. I don’t know. Wonder where she is, though. Huh.


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IF YOU SEE THIS ROBOT
CALL 460-309-4126

Harley McCabe
Series #1487, Model #1095